"A Chosen One Walk Into a Bar" is the sixteenth episode of Daniel Kravitz, Chosen One (Volume 3), and the forty-second installment of the series overall. It was performed on September 12, 2020 via Zoom as the second installment of Show LXIII and streamed live on a private, paid YouTube link. It was released as podcast episode 316.
Written by Nick Arganbright
Directed by Samantha Stark
Previous episode: "Young Rufus"
Next episode: "Ready Player Chosen One"
The Story[]
The clock on the town hall strikes 6PM in Kalispell, Montana as Alfredo, Grezit the Green (in a disguise spell), Rufus Reginald Rochester, Abby Reynolds, and Daniel Kravitz head into a bar, The Liquid Abyss. Rufus questions the wisdom of this outing, but Abby agrees with Daniel that it's needed because the team has been lacking cohesion lately. Daniel laments she never agrees with him anymore. Rufus volunteers to be the designated driver, but Daniel calls him stuff and says, since his Chosen One metabolism doesn't allow him to get drunk, Rufus can drink, and he needs to loosen up anyway.
Daniel says the first round is on him, and he orders five shots Everclear 190 proof just for himself. Daniel pressures Rufus to order a drink, though the mentor still declines, and Abby starts a tab. Daniel asks for the bottle and Alfredo orders a bucket of assorted beers. The five find a table.
At Alfredo's urging, Grezit and Abby close their eyes and grab a bottle at random from the bucket. Abby doesn't like her pick and asks for an IPA. Grezit complains about his cloaking spell being itchy, though Rufus compliments Alfredo on making Grezit look closer to normal human height. Rufus asks what Alfredo has been working on, but Abby shuts it down, saying no shop talk tonight. Alfredo and Daniel head to the jukebox and Rufus asks Abby if everything is all right. She confronts him about going behind her back recently and he apologizes, which she accepts. Abby admits she's had a lot on her mind lately.
Grezit laments the bartender didn't check his fake ID, then remembers Kai Akane made it for him. He rants and tries to destroy it. Abby says she won't rest until Kai is in custody, but Rufus thinks they should reserve judgment until they figure out what Kai was up to. Grezit complains about the puny bottle of beer he has, so he and Rufus return to the bar, where the bartender still doesn't want to ID him because he doesn't look at all underage. Grezit asks for a bowl of their finest drinks, and then realizing they don't serve bowls, settles on a dirty mop bucket. Rufus instructs her to fill it with cheap tap beer, and Grezit dumps in a whole bottle of cherries. The bartender says they will be charged, and Rufus quickly agrees.
Rolling the mop bucket back to the table, Grezit downs it and Daniel makes fun of him, disgusted. Alfredo asks why the trainees weren't invited out. Abby said they were, but didn't want to come. Rufus theorizes they declined because of the tension among the leadership. Abby agrees, hoping this outing will let them get back on the same page. Alfredo sees a strange-looking woman at the end of the bar, and Daniel encourages him to talk to her. He is hesitant, but Alfredo does approach her, and eventually goes home with her. A drunk Grezit asks Daniel if there might be potential mates for him in the bar, but the others encourage him to stay with them.
Rufus takes Grezit to play pool, sensing Abby and Daniel need to talk alone. Abby asks why it's become so hard between them. They reiterate their continued love for one another, and agrees the job is getting in the way. Abby asks if Daniel would leave the Chosen One stuff behind if he could, if she had a way to make someone else the Chosen One, and he quickly agrees. Abby starts to tell him it might be possible, but Rufus interrupts, as Grezit's bucket has caught up with him and they need to get him home. Daniel wants to continue the conversation with Abby once Grezit is in bed, and she agrees.
Back on the ranch, Daniel and Rufus struggle to drag Grezit to his room. They see a faint glow from the library and enter to find Josh Wallace out of his cell and hunched over a computer. Daniel asks how Josh got free. Josh turns to tell Daniel he's glad the Chosen One is there, and then suddenly the four are sucked into a computer.
Meanwhile, at Abby and Daniel's apartment, Alexis Augustus Armentrout runs in, unhappy the ranch is still populated, and asks Abby why they didn't leave. He also says it's too late now. At the gates, Stephanie Garcia and B.J. McKibben, on guard duty, witness the truth of that as Monbo and her army arrive at the gates.
Guest Starring[]
- Keith Jackson as Alfredo
- Ashley Collins as the bartender
- Kristin Green as Monbo
- Katie Boissoneault as Stephanie Garcia
Trivia[]
- Wendy Parks had strep throat, and so couldn't perform as Abby. Samantha Stark stepped in. Wendy later recorded the lines for inclusion in the podcast, but Sam still appears in the images above.